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STEPS ON
THE STRAIGHT PATH
In the Name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate.
GOD has revealed the unbroken chain of belief and
guidance through His Prophets to humanity. This book shows how previous Paths converge
into THE STRAIGHT PATH. The writer approaches this subject through (a)
objective writing and (b) group discussions to clear the mist of
misunderstanding held by Muslims and non-Muslims about Islam.
This work attempts to unite the spiritual with the
secular both in private and in public life after their long divorce. Religious
belief is to be translated into moral action supported by all social systems;
ethical, political, economic and in our duty towards God, to oneself and to
others. All of these are sustained by a Divine Moral Decree that links the
temporal world with the spiritual to save the welfare state of humanity and its
destiny.
These writings hope to persuade Muslims, in particular
the youth, to adapt a spiritual infusion, to safeguard their beliefs in
relation to moral action. To non-Muslims and researchers in this field of
study, it allows them to distinguish clearly the differences between Muslim
thought, the behaviour of Muslims and Islamic theology and its conduct. It is
also directed to assist students who need a reference book for use in Religious
Studies and also as a source of reference in public libraries. It is an
introduction to study the principles of Divine Decree in the Qur’an.
“And verily this is my Straight Path, so follow it,
and follow not other ways, lest they cause you to deviate from His way. This
has He enjoined upon you, so that you might remain conscious of Him” [Qur’an,
6:153].
FOREWORD
All praise is
due to God alone, the Sustainer of all the worlds from Whom we ask for guidance
to The Straight Path. This is an attempt to explain the teachings of Islam to
all those, Muslim or non-Muslim, who are interested to have a better
understanding of Islam, together with knowledge of its practical advice as to
how humanity can achieve a harmonious and civilised way of life.
The intention
has been to give a comprehensive overview of all that Islam teaches in all
aspects of human life, spiritual and material, mental and physical, individual
and social, at the local and international level.
The book is organised is such a way as to lead the
reader progressively through the practises of Islam from the personal to
inter-personal level. It starts with an examination of what religion is about
and the basic beliefs of Islam, and then it moves on to discusses about the
Qur’an and the prophets, the pillars of religion and society and finally it
summarises the details of various systems which Islam has set up to ensure a
peaceful and well-ordered life for all human beings.
This book can
also be used as a source of reference on the teachings regarding any particular
aspects of life the reader may wish to find out about. Or it can simply be dipped
into according to the reader’s own particular interests.
The sections
entitled “Discussion” are an attempt to give answers to questions and arguments
that often arise in the minds of students of Islam. Many people come to the
teachings of Islam only by hearsay, from its opponents, or as disconnected
ideas from articles, speeches, broadcasts, etc. These partial sources have
given rise to many biased attitudes and it is hoped that this comprehensive
treatment will provide a more holistic view of Islam and thus shed light on all
the details which otherwise would seem incomprehensible.
We are very
pleased to present the first book in its sufficiency. We pray to our Sustainer
to guide us to the
H.M.Abbara is
an Educationist specialising in Moral and Religious Development.
6th Step
on the Straight Path
|
Contents of 6th Step on the
Straight Path Chapter 15. The Social System. page: 15.1
The value
System. 15.1.1
Traditional
Values 15.1.2
Divine Values 15.1.3
The
commandments Values: God’s Covenant
values b. Forgiveness c. Retaliation 15.3
The Spiritual values. 15.3.1 The Spiritual
Brotherhood. 15.4
The Conduct Values. 15.4.1 Interdiction Values. 15.4.2 Manners Values; 15.4.3 Good Manners. A. Greeting
B. Sociability C. Good words. 15.5
The Value of Relationship. 15.5.1 Relationship with
Family Members. 2 Relationship with
neighbours. 3 Visiting .A. Visiting the sick. 4 Paying respect at a
funeral. 5 Just of the peace
relationship. 6 Cooperation. 7 Honest
Relationship. 8.Human rights dignified their
relationship 9.Charity is a right of others 10 Peace Making. 15.6
Discussion Chapter 16 The
Family system 16.1. Family Life 16.2 Marriage 2.1 Marital Relationship 2.2 Choice of Spouses 2.2.A. The unlawful relations B. Religious influence in Marriage C.
Criteria in Marriage: 1. Wealth, 2 Beauty and
love-match 3 Family status 4 Religion D. Marriage with non-Muslims. 16.2.3. Religious Family Law: A. Right of Consent i. Way of Consent. B. Dowry, mahr C. Marital Contract. 16.2.4.The Wedding ceremony 16.2.5 The permanence of Relationship 5.A. Respect and Good Manners
5.B. Duties and right between
spouses 5.C. The solidarity of the
family 16.3
Duties of
Children 16.4
Duty towards
parents 16.5
Status of the
Couple 5.1. Physiology provide
Responsibility 5.2. Responsibility and
Employment 5.3. Economic Status of Women 5.4.
Education
Status of Women 5.5.
Intellectual
status = 5.6.
Political
Status = 16.6
Polygamy
depends on: 1. Having children 2. Illness 3. Shortage of men 4.Diagreement 5. Discontent 6. Freedom restricted by
lawful. 7. The original is
monogyny 16.7
Divorce 7.1. Divorce Procedure 16.8
Discussion: Family life, Marriage, Arrange
Marriage, Islamic Law, Women’s dress, Equity, Polygamy, Divorce. 16.9
6th Step on the Straight Path 15.
The Social System. Islamic systems interact with each other.
Thus the social system depends on: 1. The value system which is supported by:
2. The spiritual value, which is sustained by: the conduct value and good
manners, which sustained by: Order values. Al that depends also on the value
of relationship; with relations, relationship with neighbour; greeting.
visiting, visiting the sick. Human relationship. It is sustained by: 16.
Family
System. Family life is
the basic structure of society. Marriage and family relationships are under
religious influence and are maintained by prescribed duties towards children
and parents. We refer to the status of women in Islam and also touch on the
issue of polygamy. Is divorce allowed in easy stages? Then we will discuss
matters relating to family life which is sustained by: Chapter fifteen
15.The Social System. "Help one
another in furthering virtue and God-consciousness, and do not help one
another in furthering evil and enmity; and remain conscious of God: for
behold, God is severe in Retribution!" (5:2) The
economic system sustains the social system. The social system in Islam is
very comprehensive. Almost all the Pillars of the religion previously
discussed, either depend on it or supported by the Pillars of Social Life and
Society. In addition, it includes the systems which define the relationships
between the individual and others, such as the legal system supported by
ethical system sustains by the economic system. All pillars and systems are
closely related to the social life. The framework of the Islamic social
system may be summarised as follows: . The social
system sustains by the value system 1. The value
system sustains by Divine value and spiritual value 2. The Spiritual value sustains by Conduct
values 3. The Conduct value sustains by Order values
4. The Order values sustains by 15.5. Discussion. {Between Abbara and Dina expressing the Islamic view whilst Badr and Charles the opposite side of the argument} 15.6 .The Social Order and Value. "Say: 'This is my way. I am calling unto God with certain
knowledge - I and they who follow me.'" (12:108) Abbara: The main objective of God’s Message, is social care, to safeguard human
life and to live in a caring society. Social order in Islam is different from
all other social systems. For example, social classes consist of groups of
people related to each other through common interests, economical, religious,
cultural and political. But in Islam, all individuals are equal. The only
criterion of superiority in this social order is personal ability, right
conduct and consciousness of God. This is very different from the social
systems based on man-made ideologies which serve a particular group within
each society. In Islam, social organisation belongs to the God of all things.
There is no social immobility as with a caste system; everyone Muslim or not,
may reach a high position. History gives authentic evidence of how
non-Muslims played their part in Islamic society. It is not a religious
society in the sense that religious people dominate the rest; this idea was
implanted in the Western mind. In Islam "it is to God alone that sincere
devotion is due" (39:3). He determined the social climate, laid down the
social order and created social values that would enable all the members of
the society to be united in their efforts and to achieve individual maturity
in both aspects of life, both spiritual and material. Secular learning is opposed
to an understanding of divinity, which depends on creativity and seeing the
nature of things. In Islam, there is the possibility for man to know God by
studying the natural order itself and thus to link life and matter to Him and
live in social peace. Charles: Social
ideals are easy to talk about but not to apply. If there is any value in
these ideas any Muslim society that applies them will rise not only in
technological terms but in social integration with other Muslim societies and
within itself. Some Muslims societies have the social stratification rest on
the superiority of one group on the inferiority of particular ethnic group.
Is this related to the value system decreed by the supernatural sources, or
to the social system which each society has adapted to according to its
heritage? Neither of them creates social welfare in any Muslim society. On
the other hand, the Western value systems were discovered after they rejected
religion. They then reached the standards on which human relationships and
coherent individual life depends. Such values include love, respect for the
truth, honesty, integrity, a sense of justice, caring, co-operation,
sacrifice for the common good, if necessary, and the acceptance of
responsibility for one's own behaviour and the well-being of others. All this
has come from the creativity of the human mind, without an external authority
to impose values beyond the capacity of the human being to practice. Dina: Islamic spiritual values higher from this view, which
devalues all the social aspects of life, matter and spirit by assigning all
ethical values to the subjective-personal aspect exclusively. The values
which you mention are not ignored by Islam, but you ignore the dark side of
the coin, the "social norm" which has no moral value in it. These
ideas cause a gradual deterioration and decay in the social structure. But
Islam not only adheres to the positive values and encourages every one to
observe them, but also stresses the negative aspect in that it discourages
every individual from doing evil things. Thus the former type of society is
built on a beautiful sandy beach while the latter is on solid rock. If some
Muslims societies have social stratification, it is not from Islam but from
their own social identity which have no Islamic values. Badr: The values in Muslim societies are personal values, in the sense that
everyone lives according to the social mode of his society and its social
values which have been passed down as a heritage. This is the basic social
climate in Muslim societies. Everyone has a social instinct and is capable of
social adjustment. In the matter of identity, each person develops his
personal values by absorbing into his own personality attitudes and ideals he
has admired in another. So I agree with what Charles said about Islamic
values, that it is easier to preserve them in books or talk about them than
to put them into action. I believe that those who preach them are less likely
to apply them. Dina: Your pessimistic view is based on present day
Muslim values, which have no significant relationship to true Islamic values.
A non-Muslim who lives in a true Muslim community can appreciate their social
values. You cannot blame Islam or the individual who is influenced by social
traditions with mixed values going back to former times. Some Muslims, who do
not want to increase corruption on earth, withdraw themselves from leadership
and decision-making. They are always replaced by those who have flexible
values or twisted ones rather than being truthful to God. Ibn Taymiyyah, for
example endured prison and exile because of his insistence on a sound
application of the Qura’nic values and traditional principles to individual
conduct and social life. The problem is implicit in the fact that those who
appointed themselves to be the guardians of Islam really held different
values and tried to integrate their own ideologies with Islamic values by
giving them a religious colour. In spite of that, the values of social life
in some Muslims societies highly appreciated the others. Charles: The issue
is obviously very complex. The above discussion implies that the values held
by so-called Muslims are not actually Islamic values apart from ritual
values. Then how can the non-Muslim distinguish the true Islamic teaching
from what is taught in today's Muslim societies? Dina: Islam enjoins honourable conduct, purity of
intention and sincerity in all the affairs of life. However, even if we
cannot find these values in a particular Muslim society, the truth is that
one can find devout Muslims at every level of the educational and
socio-economic scale, upholding higher ethical values not only in one aspect
of life, as some philosophers call for, but in their complete moral behaviour
according to the Islamic system of conduct. In a Muslims society, may you
find some aspect of social life not Islamic and other are related to Islam,
so non-Muslims cannot see the overlap between them unless he study to find
the relationship theory and practice.
Badr: But
still you have not answered the question and shown how to draw the line
between what is Islamic and what is not in the social life of the Muslims. On
individual basis, the personal values more common the Islamic values. The
relationship related to private advantage, when a person achieved his aims
his friendship will be terminated. The relationship between neighbour
sensitive, may, sometimes, involve envy and hated. Abbara: It is difficult to find one yard-stick to measure
every action related to social values. But we can exclude all immoral
actions, on the one hand, and on the other, we can use the criteria of the
standard ethic. What is lawful and what is unlawful has been defined and
there is no debate about it. Regarding other things, we can judge them according
to the spirit of Islam. For example, take marriage in Islam and the social
life of a Muslim. In order
to achieve modesty, marriage is prescribed as soon as possible. But must
Muslims follow their own values rather than Islamic values; for example: (i) Islam does
not recognise any kind of discrimination between believers. It considers that
"the believers are one brotherhood". In the case of marriage, some
tribes still do not allow their tribes’ women to marry someone from another
tribe, but keeps marriages within the law about relatives who are legally
allowed to marry. Such attitudes have resulted in inbreeding, and sometimes
biological or physical disorders, as well as depletion of mental potential
have resulted. (ii) Another social tendency has been for the
parents to prefer a relative so that the wealth of the family remains within
it. But the recommendation of the Prophet was "to keep at a distance
from relatives", for the sake of springs from low birth. (iii) The consent of the couple is compulsory,
according to Islamic teaching, but sometimes parents choose a partner for
their child without the latter's full consent and in relation to their social
influence rather than to Islamic decrees. (iv) Islam prescribes that the husband should pay a
dowry to his wife according to his capability. This is to show that he is
capable of maintaining his wife. But there are some Muslims who are
influenced by their own social conventions into exaggerating the dowry by
arranging expensive marriage and wedding feasts, even when the husband does
not have enough money to do this. These, social values, in some Muslim
societies prevent lots of girls from marrying because man can’t provide such
an expensive marriage; this results in celibacy of girls and may also result
in concubine age. (24:33). (v) Islam
demands modesty in that the woman should cover her body except for her face,
hands and feet but some Muslims, according to their own social code, not only
cover their face but use things not related to the dignity of women;
non-Muslims consider this an Islamic tradition. On the other hand, some
Muslims adopt non-Islamic values and choose their modes of dress which does
not reflect their modesty and result in behaviour which is distant from
Islamic values. (vi) Islam allows polygamy up to four wives in
condition of social security for the orphans (4:2-3), and with the condition
that justice must be shown to them all, in order to avoid problems arising in
matrimonial life. But some Muslim men take this as permission without
actually fulfilling the necessary conditions or when there is a necessity to
do so, so non-Muslims jump to the conclusion that is an Islamic tradition and
that Islam has does not value women. All these
negative things have been used by non-Muslims as evidence against Islam
rather than against the social divisions among Muslims. Your
friendship fails because not dealing with good believers who scarify his
welfare to others, as well as with neighbour; true believers families live
together like one family. So, your experience cannot be generalising. Charles: How can a
non-Muslim distinguish between what is related to Islamic teaching and what
is related to the social convention of the Muslims, as long as the Muslims
themselves consider their social life to be related to Islam rather to their
own social traditions? Muslims say: Islamic marriage, Islamic wedding,
Islamic tradition, and Islamic gathering, rather than Muslim’s. Abbara: Reasoning shows us that social influence does not
affect Islam but Islam affects the believers' society which is absent from
Muslim societies; nevertheless there are individuals who have committed
themselves to the Islamic values which they uphold. In other religions,
society or the spiritual leader may influence the religion. Charles: Polygamy was accepted in the old days. The Old
Testament refers to the Prophets as polygamous. But in present-day life,
there is no reason for polygamy. But Muslims are still practising it and this
is supported by Islam. Dina: As we mentioned above, this practice is kept up by
individual Muslims who live by their own principles rather than in the fair
and just way demanded by Islam. Polygamy solved the problem of unequal
numbers of men and women by bringing polygamy within the law rather than
allowing illegal relations, which would result in illicit children, which
leaves men free from the responsibility which should rest on the shoulders of
the father as well as the mother. Abbara: in
spite all these deviations from Islamic values, still the Muslim family is
more coherent then some families in the West. All children are born within
marriage; this preserves the society from social disease which has no cure
except true family life, otherwise a society, without proper marriage,
produces its own problems. So I invite them to be Muslims to sever their off
springs from all harassment opposing them from circumstances which are beyond
their control. However,
Islam makes no distinction between duty towards oneself and others. Social
life is sustained by duty towards others. God makes no distinction between
duty towards Him and to others. 15.7.2. Relationship to God and Others. Abbara: Islam makes no difference between the right of God
and the right of His Creatures. The Qur'an always links heaven with the earth
and says that man is created from the earth but his spirit is a gift from God
and that all the things He created are for the use of mankind, and are to be
distributed; every one gives from what he owns, wealth or
manpower:"...and give them of the Wealth of God that He has given
you" (24:33), indicating that all people share in the Bounty of God. So
a believer cannot build a relation with God unless he builds good social
relations with others. Hence the aims of God’s Religion are to create social
integration and solidarity. Charles: Then where do the social problems in Muslim
society come from? All of them have
more social problems than other, non- religious, societies. So naturally we
could say that this is related to religion. In spite of that, still some
Muslims insist on Islam as a solution to the Muslim societies' problems,
whereas history bears witness that it is impossible to solve them. Islam is a
good system for linking the believer to heaven, not to earth. It is rich in
spiritual effects that satisfy the needs of the individual, but not as a
social system to be imposed upon people from outside. Dina: The social problems in Muslim
society come from the Muslims and their relations to their own social
conventions that go back to the Ummayad period (661-750). They have separated
social life from spiritual life. They have made the political system control
the economic, the legal, ethical value, educational and social systems. Hence
their problems rest on having borrowed or create a system not related to East
or West but of their own inventions. Social
values are part of spiritual values. There is no distinction between them.
Man rises towards God through doing good and being just and fair with His
creation. This is the task of the true believers throughout their life, but
as they are few, you cannot always see the results of their way of life on
society. Badr: No
doubt the political authority influences the social life, but this cannot be
the only reason for present conditions. It is beliefs which motivate the
individual towards action, so perhaps social influence is weak in the hearts
of the Muslims because of their poorly reasoned belief. You can recognise two
classes in a Muslim society, the very rich and the very poor. If the social
code had the power to persuade the richer to help the poorer, their suffering
would be far less, not only within the same society but in other Muslim
societies. So where are the roots of the problems? Dina: It is difficult to define the interweaving problems and who is
responsible for what. Researchers have different views. Some relate them to
authoritative systems, which play a major part in solving problems and make
them more complex. Others relate them to those who are called religious who
have appointed themselves to represent Islam. They find that they must ally
themselves with the authority to gain their living and thus become
instruments of propaganda for the authority. On the other hand, they may use
force against the authority, or withdraw themselves from social life and
become mystics who have separated the duty towards God from the duty towards
His Creatures. Besides them, there are those who are non-practicing Muslims,
who do not care about the welfare of others. Therefore, we find few sincere
believers whose actions can be recognised within the majority who are
behaving in different ways. Abbara: I believe that problems are related to the values held by each
individual and are not related to Islam or reasoning. The Qur'an (2:10)
refers to that as a kind of disease and the most dangerous disease is
ignorance, when the individual does not realise what he is doing and cannot
evaluate his values in relation to Islamic value which treat all humanity as
one in regarding duties and rights. However, we cannot blame
anyone for that; it is the system of education with relation to other systems
which has not provided Muslim with a basis of values for his development. The
social order depends on the value system and the value system depends on
family system which provides a complete system for the individual and
safeguards the individuality of every person, offering him a chance of
development which maintained by true Islamic Education: Chapter sixteen .The Family system. "And of His Signs is that He created for you,
from among yourselves, spouses, that you might repose in tranquillity with
them, and he has set between you love and mercy. Surely in that are Signs for
a people who reflect." (30:21) 1. Family system sustained by marriage;
2. Marriage maintained by Marital relationship; 2.1.Martial relationship depends on choice of the spouses; 2.2.Choice
the spouses sustained by spiritual
relationship; 2..2.a
Spiritual relation supported by other
criteria of marriage; 2.c.
Criteria in marriage supported by
family law; 2..3 Family law sustained by marital contract; 2.6 Marital contract maintained by permanence relationship; 2.8 Permanence relationship maintained by good manner; 2.8.a.Good manner supports the solidarity of the family; 2.8.cSolidarity of
the family maintained duty and right; 3 Fulfilling
duty and rights sustained
recognised their status; 4. Recognizing their status maintained by solving problems; 5 Solving
unexpecting problems maintain by
polygamy; 6 Polygamy maintained by divorce; 6 Divorce maintained by divorce procedure; Divorce procedure has stages to maintain the problems. Discussion {Between Abbara and Dina expressing the Islamic view whilst Badr and Charles the opposite side of the argument} 16.8 Family life Abbara:
Family is the commonest way of life in all cultures, only through marriage
can a proper family be founded and children brought up in conformity with
cultural attitudes. All culture have found it necessary to control sexual
relationships through the marital state. God regulates sexual behaviour only
through marriage, through not permitting sex outside of the marriage context,
which can corrupt the pattern of family life. Charles: The family in Islam is a patriarchal system, the
husband is the head of the family, he has the right to marry again or to
divorce according to his will. “A woman was regarded as little more than a
possession, first of her father and her family, ‘can marry her to any one he want,’
and subsequently, of her husband and his family”22, serve them as an obedient
servant. This old system is not applicable to modern life. ”In the West, the
Muslim family structure is often seen as oppressive and backward, an obstacle
to modernity”23 Dina: In
the text we read how God guides mankind to structure the family life in
absolute justice and equality, and in the discussion how Muslims twisted the
rules of values systems to their self interest values, and the situations
became customary practice, not Islamic observance. There is no organisation
without a head, if God trusts the father and puts love in his heart and
sympathy to fulfil his duty. Therefore He appointed him as the head of the
family, in which he is usually benevolent, caring about every individual in
the family and works hard to help everyone in it achieve a happy life. This
is the main objective of most fathers in every society. The
customary practice, in Muslim societies, differs from one country to another
and even from town to town. We can’t ignore some parents’ failure in their
duty, who have followed their self-interest and consider such marriages as a
business, rather than trying to form the right couple. God’s
system never changes because His creation will not change. The old system of
marriage is still valid within human life and animals alike. The modern
system loosens the rules in name of freedom and makes women the main losers. The Muslim
family in the West is seen as backward, not because they are Muslim, but
because they came from different cultures have different customs and are not
applying Islamic regulations. These include going forwards, so that everyone
works hard enough to meet the demands of this life and the after life. Charles:
Arranged marriages may have been acceptable in the old days, selling
girls or buying boys, but now, both are educated and capable of choosing and
making decisions. It is amusing now how a man could marry a girl without even
speaking to her or even seeing her. Furthermore, this, traditional arranged
marriage takes place in the West, where both have to submit to the will of
parents. The increase in the breakdown of marriage is due to this. Abbara:
The arranged marriage you described could happen in a very limited area of
Muslims countries, but it is very rare. As we said earlier, the marriage
contract is invalid unless the bride and bridegroom give their approval and
are not forced by any means. Arranged marriage has its advantage if the
parents are very sincere in their choice from the religious and moral side.
They can assess the whole matter and make a fair judgement, and during the
engagement the supposes can meet and decide as well. The disadvantage is if
the parents have their own self-interests for one reason or another. The Western world, finds arranged marriage
strange, as there the parents discharge responsibility of their children at
teenage years, while Muslim families carry on their responsibilities for
life. They have joint responsibilities so as to fulfil the objectives of the
family. It appears that Muslims living in the West may high rates of marriage
breakdown; it may be that such Muslims are not adherent to the regulations or
come from Westernized families which did not commit to the responsibility of
family life. Badr: I agree that such a dictatorship exists in
many Muslim families. During my study, I loved a girl and she loved me, she
knew every thing about me and we agreed to get married. I proposed to her father who not only declined my
proposal, but also, to discuss the matter any further; because, I should have
had a private flat and a good job and so on. Dina: The
main criterion of marriage in Islam is true belief, which reflects real moral
conduct and not welfare in life. If maintenance is poor, God will grant him
sufficient out of His Bounty. True Belief would guarantee the success of the
marriage. However,
this case is not the Islamic way, but it is a social custom, to show off to
his neighbours that he chose a rich man for his daughter. They are looking
for outside appearances rather than the real quality of the man or the woman. Abbara: In
Islam is not only care between supposes, but also between the two families to
safeguard the family. There is no doubt that greed, not Islam, plays a part
in corruption of harmonious relationships between them. Charles:
The ‘Islamic family law’ is enforced from the old days. This creates a
traditional family which imprisons women at home in Muslim societies, but
when Muslim families moved to the West and smelt the spirit of freedom, the
rate of divorce became higher in the West than in their own country. Besides
which there was more divorce amongst educated women than non educated women. Abbara:
The Islamic Family Law plays a very important part in Muslim societies. Yes,
It is the earliest legal system and it is valid in that is the only one of
its kind. It is very comprehensive: God knows how important family life is,
such that about third of the legal injunctions of the Qur’an are related to
family and it’s proper regulation. In the case
of divorce, the wife’s interests are catered for in detail. Divorce has
increased between Muslims in the West for many reasons mostly not for sake of
God, but of self-interest. The Western regulations encourage ill-will towards
the wife, without ill-treatment for the husband. He is more likely to be
dismissed from his home, with the house being put in his wife’s name, so he
no longer has legal rights to the home. In such
cases, Islamic regulation states; “it shall not be wrong for the two to
settle things peacefully to rights between themselves: for peace is best, and
selfishness is ever-present in human souls” (4:128). If this fails, an
appointed arbiter from his side and another from her side can argue for them:
if they both want to set things aright, may God bring about their
reconciliation. (4:35) This kind of divorce, never takes place between true
believers. The ratio
of divorce amongst educated woman: is not really high, but husband and
children may have come from school or work tired, needing comfort while she
may have come after them even more tired and emotionally exhausted. Life is
not mechanical, but spiritual with equitable balance. Maybe they cannot stand
such a lifestyle and may find divorce more appropriate, If the wife is not
willing to sacrifice her work for the time being, Islam demands that
education overcomes their differences and not to create unfit problems. Every spouse
is entitled to such rights and privileges and carries such obligations as are
stipulated by law. But most problems that occur come from outside the home.
They may be social influences or unjust regulations. God’s rules apply
according to the psychological, spiritual and physiological tendencies. Charles
Therefore, a Muslim looking for a home servant rather then an active member
of a society, who contributes not only through reproduction but in social
life as a whole. For this reason many women who are highly educated are
spinsters as they can not find their match. In addition to that the dowry,
the pre-Islamic habit puts lots of girls in the same situation. So, Islamic
regulation does not help but hinders the marriage in Muslims society. Dina: One
group may have chosen an educational life rather than a married life, most of
them married later on, but, a few may miss the train. Another
group, as we mentioned earlier that the advanced dowry is a symbol of respect
and an intention that he is capable of maintenance, it could be even an iron
ring, or whatever he can afford to pay as a symbol of admiration. The later
one is for security of an accepted direction. Therefore, the reason not
within rules by those who exaggerated in demanding more than a husband can
offer. By such behaviour they put some girls out of the scale of marriage.
Humans can take the blame and not shift it to God’s rules. Charles:
You always claim that there is no discrimination in Islam. It is permitted
for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim from in a previous religion, but
Muslim women are prohibited from marrying non-Muslims Dina:
Islam, The Straight Path, wants people to go forward not backwards. Muslims
believe in the continuous Message while both of them believe that the Message
terminated with them. Muslim women, beliefs imply they believe in both
religion not ver versa. Marriage
in Islam is a spoken contract , believers should fulfil their covenants by
all means, women should not be trouble-makers. There is no discrimination
between them as adults, but later on, the children; Muslim women consider it
their duty to bring them up as believers. Suppose her husband wants them to
follow his religion, conflict will arise which may result in the breakdown in
the construction of the family. God is looking to safeguard the family life
rather than discriminating about beliefs as a personal matter to decide for
his or her destiny. Badr: This
indicates the authority of man in the family, while, Islam always calls for
equality but in this situation it calls for inferiority. Dina: In
political system we explain that the Muslims’ community chose their leader
and they have to obey him, but only within Islamic regulations, the same way
the family decides upon its affairs with consultation and the right decision
will pass. It is worthwhile saying that the poor man, nowadays has no
authority at all, he has to work hard and give his earnings to his landlady;
this fact in most Muslim’s families. Badr:
Perhaps, this is your experience, which maybe you cannot generalize. Charles: ‘Woman
Dress’ Despite the truth of all that, when you look at a Muslims women
you feel that she is not only imprison at her home, but also in her clothes. She
is like a black statue moving from its place, wearing a mask to scare babies;
sometimes only her eyes moving round. Where is the women dignity in Islam,
which you are talking about? Abbara:
Islam calls for moderation, but Muslims exaggerate laws and unfortunately
blame it on Islam. God enjoins, modesty in dress and social morality in both,
men and women, to lower their gaze and be mindful of their chastity, and He
commanded that woman should draw their head-covering over their bosoms, and
reveal not their adornment,(24:30-1) and He added, that she will be more
recognized as a decent women and not annoy Him (33:59). Muslim men and women
should not wear a tight dress; trousers, tights, and flimsy; thin transparent
dresses which show the body’s figure, if they wear them they should wear a
loose dress above it. The hijab ‘veil’ or a scarf covers the
head and the neck. There are lots of arguments about it, as you can see every
social society has their own definition. The practical tradition of the
Prophet well known to every Muslims, that woman should wear the hijab
during hajj where purity and religious observance take place. She
should not cover her face, hands and feet. This is the proper hijab
recommended as God recommended in previous religion, it is similar to what a
nun wears. Hence, when anyone sees her, he pays her respect as a religious
woman and not to be provoked to evil as happen every day in the streets. Therefore,
hijab is barrier for the evildoer. It is one of God’s commandments, it
is an Islamic symbol. If anyone honours God’s commandments, it will rebound
for his own good: “This is [to be born in mind] And anyone who honours the
symbols set up by God [shall know that,] verily, these [symbols drive their
value] from the God-consciousness in the believers’ hearts.(22:32).
Therefore, only true believers fulfil what is ordained by God without
stepping further than His wisdom. Dina:
Hence, Islamic values stand above Muslims’ social values. Those wearing hijab
are doing it due to social traditions, and not out of taqwa,
God-consciousness, mostly when they move to the West, they take off the hijab
upon their arrival. So, most of the Muslims not only do not wear the hijab
but also stop wearing a decent dress. While true believers they are
wearing the proper hijab their face, hand, and feet are uncovered.
They are respected by all and work with others without any harassment. Here
stands the dignity of women in Islam. Nobody looks at her as sex objects as
most women unfortunately do. The woman’s beauties are reserved for her
husband only and vice versa. God cares about human life but women do not
care. Badr:
please do not generalise, there are some who are wearing the hijab and
they are not decent. Charles: ‘Beating wives’ If Islam calls for
mercy, how is it allowed for a man to beat his wife? As you know it is not
allowed to beat a child who does not understand right from wrong. I believe
it is very crucial for a man to deal with someone most loved by him. Dina: As
long as, the beating is the final suggestion for rebellious; or unfaithful
wife, comes from God, the most Merciful,4:34, it is meant,as a merciful
measure of punishment, for a wife who committed nishoz; the verb, nahaza
means to something arise above the ground, this metaphor is used for the
wife who is going to be deviated from Straight Path and is going to breakdown
the marriage covenant with another man. So the retribution is from God and
not from the husband [The one who knows the facts, and the one who did not
know, will say he hit her because she spilt the milk]. In Islam is very hard
punishment for committing adultery. Therefore, this is a final step, which
may let the wife realise her mistake, rather than breakdown their marriage
and save the children from pain. Finally,
beating of wives in the West is more than in the East, by a drunken husband
or murdering an adulterous wife. So, practical life has many dimensions,
which need to be amended. Charles:
Why are husbands not treated in the same way? Abbara: The
same situation, God referred to, “If a woman fear rebelliousness or
aversion,…to set things right between them.(4:128) Does not use the same
expression, the wife beats the husband, because His judgement is according to
her ability and the psychological affect of her husband; but, referring to
selfishness and “the souls are very prone to avarice”. He appointed
‘God-consciousness’ and He witnesses their peace making, so He made
connection between one’s spiritual life and his social behaviour, which has psychological
punishment rather than physical one. In addition to that, there is a social
support, from his family, her family and friends. Charles: In verse 4:34 s for those women whose ill-will, to
admonish them firstly and secondly to leave them alone in bed. As we know
some women will be happy for undesired coition, therefore, it has no effect
on some women. Dina: As long as God said; its validity and reliability
there: Yes, You may be right about the passion of some women, but in this
case, she thinks for herself, contemplates, and we cannot ignore the factor
of jealousy, She knows the passion of her husband, if cut, such a relation
may effect their relationship and might lose him by one way or another.
Secondly; this weapon has two edges, if it has not worked out from her side
it has its effect on his side, makes him lenient and mended their
differences. Thus the formula has its effect on both. Charles: ‘equity and polygamy’ God has not made for
any man two hearts within him so there is no real love in the heart of a
Muslim to marry more than one. Life consists not of financial ability, but of
love sentiment. However, polygamy is most often identified with Islam in the
mind of Westerners and the Qur’an gives free license to Muslims for up to
four wives. How could Islam call for equity in meantime inferior to woman in
particular for the first life? Abbara: God’s rules are not designed for
you but for all people. In the text it points out why God lays down His
principles to suite all mankind every where and at every time. God knows that
unexpected problems and unforeseen circumstances exist in time and place. His
law is very elastic so as to give the best chance of success and harmony in
marriage. Society may have many possible remedies to social problems which
differ from place to place and from age to age. It needs a comprehensive
family law to meet the needs of all humanity and satisfy everyone faced with
a dilemma. God provides an adequate solution to problems by providing
conditions conducive to a fair decision between reconciliation and divorce
or, in the last resort, the acceptance of a second wife. This last course at
least saves the first wife from being turned out of her house, some wife
recommend to their husband to get married to solve a problems occurred, if
she wishes to stay. But it is regarded as an emergency measure, and should be
confined to that. It must be remembered that flexibility in Islamic law is
one of it's greatest virtues and it has proved it's superiority over other
legal systems, whose results have shown that they cannot be relied on to lead
to the greatest happiness and welfare of humanity. So do not be like ostrich
which put her head in sand and thought nobody seeing her! Badr: Do you mean a polygamous in West
more than Muslims do? But Muslims do polygamy for pleasure nothing at all fro
the reasons you mentioned. I never heard that a rich man married a widow
woman for sake her children but only selfishness desires. Dina: We are here talking about Islam
and not about Muslims, or even those who call themselves Muslims. Some
Muslims give a false impression to the West that every Muslim must marry four
wives, and is at full liberty to shift from one wife to another. Polygamy has
a valuable function. It may be considered as the lesser of two evils as
compared to divorce or taking up a mistress. Thus, while provision for
polygamy makes the social system flexible enough to deal with all kinds of
conditions, it is not recommended or preferred by God. The status of polygamy
in Islam is no more than a social security blanket for children and orphans
in particular. And, like any other act which is lawful in principle, it
becomes unlawful in situations where it would involve, or lead to, injustice. Dina: However,
polygamy was common and deeply rooted in the social life of many societies in
different ages. Most people ignore this fact and blame the Creator for
permitting it. Yet in Islam, monogamy is the normal form of marriage when
there is no obstacle preventing it and polygamy is merely a last resort to
avoid breaking up a united family. In the Middle Ages, Jews were still
practicing polygamy and it can still be found among those living in certain
Muslim countries. The New Testament, according to some scholars, assumes
monogamy as the normal form of marriage, but it does not expressly prohibit
polygamy except in the cases of bishops and deacons. The doctrine of the
Mormons is well-known. Even today, some African bishops support polygamy on
moral grounds as preferable to other alternatives. (The Family Structure,
in Islam p. 114). However, a half honest husband much better than a
dishonest husband. Charles: As I said it is impossible to justify such action.
We are all human: our struggle for survival has no end, just as; our love
mixed with jealousy has no control. Women in the West have different
attitudes to Muslim women who may be subordinated by their husbands and
mostly depend on them and for this reason they accept polygamy, when in fact
it is imposed upon them. Abbara: Of course God does not ignore the
problems caused by polygamy. Therefore, this permission is immediately
followed by a sentence which cuts down the significance of the preceding
passage about it's normal and legitimate dimensions; it is forbidden if the
husband is not sure that he can treat his co-wives equally, since equality is
a prerequisite of polygamy: “You will not be able to be equitable between
your wives, be you ever so eager”(4:129). However, it could be objected that the
second wife may be thought of as inferior. We have seen that the Islamic
marriage contract depends on the agreement of the woman herself and no one
can force her to marry. Similarly, her agreement to a second, third or fourth
wife should also be sought. She can judge her situation and weigh up the
advantages and disadvantages of further wives. Regarding financial support, the man is
usually able to financially maintain first and second wives. Therefore the
issue becomes that of need and demand of the two parties. Dina: Surprisingly, many people,
especially women, blame Islam for injustice in this respect, but if the woman
agrees to be a co-wife, it is not the law which should be considered as cruel
and unjust. Polygamy is not entirely a blessing for one sex and a curse for
the other, but a solution to many problems and society is often in debt to
the elasticity of Islamic law, rather than creating further problems, which
have no remedy for the illness in their marital life. Islam
is against any illegal relationships and does not tolerate any secret
relationships. It is of no use insisting on having one wife and at the same
time having other illegal relationships. A relationship must exist in the
open, in a respectable and legal manner, which protects the rights of all
those concerned. This removes all the anxiety, uncertainty and emotional
disturbance connected with illegal practices. No one can deny the existence
of marital problems, and the Islamic solution is simply the best way to deal
with some of the most difficult problems in human relationships. Charles:
‘Divorce’: The consequences of polygamy are that it increases the percentage
of divorces. It means that a man can marry more wives at any time. We read in
the news paper that a man took with him sixteenth wife on a summer holiday,
so the door is open for more and more wives, not only four. He simply has to
say “I divorce you” and go to another woman with two witnesses and says “I
marry you” Abbara: As we said earlier, God gives permission as a last
resort, but with conditions and appointed taqwa; (God’s-consciousness)
which supervises the differences and condemned oppressiveness between men and
women. Therefore, a true Muslim responds to the recommendation of God and
treats his wife with kindness and patience and divorce never occurs to him.
The only bond which can join husband and wife together for ever is that every
one lives in God’s-consciousness, which will control all their
desires. When their spiritual life is united they can overcome all kinds of
problems, and would not need polygamy, but if there is real problem which
would necessitate it, then definitely the wife would be the one who demands
it for the sake of both of their happiness. God recommends that man is
patient with his wife and sees her best side: "And comfort with your wives
in a goodly manner, for if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike
something which God might yet make a source of abundant good." (4.19) Dina: As we said, there are various reasons known to
cause divorce and these are spread over a very wide range. Any problem has
its remedy unless there are irreparable fundamental differences between the
two people. Only in such circumstances is divorce permitted. God cannot
tolerate oppressiveness, which is so much more harmful than divorce itself.
God recommends: “either retain them in a fair manner or part with them in a
fair manner”(65:2) Badr: But divorce sometimes is a like child play, an
arrogant husband loves another woman, who refused to marry him unless he
divorces his wife. Dina: Similarly it may happen that a wife with children
may fall in love with another man and seek divorce. This could happen in
every culture, but in spite of this, divorce is still the far less in Muslim countries less than other
societies. Abbara: As we said earlier, several stages of divorce take
place during which reconciliation may take place. The first stage lasts at
least three months and similarly with the second stage. If she is pregnant,
it will take even longer and the new born baby gives the opportunity for reconsideration
of the divorce. Charles: In spite of all that, the woman has little right
for initiating divorce. This in fact puts Muslim women in a state of anxiety.
Therefore, she may feel under intimidation; either polygamy or divorce may
threaten, which makes married life negative and miserable. Dina: I have pointed out that the ‘spiritual communion’
between them inspires happiness in every aspect of their life, but if they
lose that, the wife has the same rights as her husband. God gave women these rights
fourteen centuries ago ,at which time women in other societies had no rights.
God stands firmly on the ground of morality and human dignity. He does not
force a person to suffer injustice from an unfaithful partner, “but, in
accordance with justice, the rights of the wives [with regard to their
husbands] are equal to the [husbands’] rights with regard to them”(2:228) Abbara: God lays
down principles which have been misunderstood by non-Muslims, and even some
Muslims, as regards divorce being freely allowable. But in fact, it is bound
by strict laws made by Him, who allowed it only because people's hearts and
minds change in different ways, for different reasons, during different
stages of life and their behaviour is changeable and sometimes unpredictable.
This means that marriage is also unpredictable, but the validity of Islamic
law regarding divorce has been proved over more than fourteen centuries while
in other traditions their family law has been found unreliable in all
circumstances of life. This appears to foretell a continuing increase in
divorce rates, while the ethical principles of Islam in this respect takes a
position between categorical proscription and unqualified liberalisation of
divorce. |
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